Aspergers and 4th Grade: Our Quicksilver (Part 2)

Second Grade. Things were still going ok. Again, the teachers he had knew he was on the spectrum, but also knew he was smart. They found ways to work with him, for example, he's an advanced reader, so in his reading class, his teacher would tell me, "he doesn't sit still and he doesn't make eye contact, but I know he's listening because when I call on him, even if he's looking out of the window, he answers and it's correct." The times where Ben started to get upset or act up were met with redirection or timeouts then.

But, we started to notice something. The transition from class to class became harder. Kids on the spectrum don't do well with transition typically, so this was no surprise. It became harder for him to regulate himself after he moved to a new room. So, they made accommodations, He stayed on the advanced reading track but in the same room as his other class. It worked...for a while.

Third Grade. This was the transition year after the divorce. Ben was placed in a co-teaching class with neurotypical kids and some who either had learning disabilities or were on the spectrum. I'd say that was about 20% of the class. The blessing that year came in his lead teacher. Her name is Carolyn Howard and she became our angel. A mom of five, I couldn't get over how much she took to Ben and understood and empathized with him. To this day, we are friends and I thank God she was his teacher and became part of his life. He loves her and she made an incredible impact on his life for one reason...she cared. A lot. Enough to attend autism conferences on her own time to learn more about teaching Ben. Enough that when we ran into trouble in fourth grade, she rallied for Ben.

There will be, or have been, these people in your child's lives. Cherish them. They are a gift. Carolyn and I learned a lot together. We figured out a lot as went. I'd learned so much about autism and how to deal with behaviors, anxiety, etc. The one thing I wasn't prepared for was the beginning of "the turn"...when social skills become the key to everything. Ah...social skills...stay tuned for more on this ever challenging issue!