Before I get into the real purpose of the blog...dealing with all of the monkey wrenches that come with adolescence and school...I should preface with another not so great factor: Ben's dad and I divorced along the way. Ben was going into third grade.
He'd been making such great progress. As I mentioned, he'd been almost completely mainstreamed at this point and discharged from speech therapy. He also had amazing teachers this year, one that I've since become friends with and who has become one of his biggest advocates. Still, something changed after the divorce. In my research, I attributed it to the change it routine, which we know affects our kids. Read more about the need for consistency and sameness of environment here.
Divorce just stinks and if you have special needs kids or not, unless you are the textbook, perfect parent and the inspiration for all "this is how you should act as a divorced mom" articles, you'll mess it up a few times.
While I want to focus primarily on school, my struggles with the school system opened a Pandora's Box of information that taught how "duped" I was in my own divorce. I made the mistake many women do and I wanted to stop the bleeding and just take the deal to get out. I'm smarter than that, and I regret it every day. Money aside, because I got screwed (or screwed myself) there, I didn't pay attention to the impact the initial custody agreement would have on my special needs child. Big mistake, that Ben and I both paid for. It took me almost two years of custody modification to right this wrong. I even took less child support than I was entitled to just so my ex would see the light in what was best for our son.
I have about three feet of files and research on this, which I will add eventually, but I encourage every parent to know their rights. Look at sights like this, which offer state-specific advice. And always remember, the educated parent is the best advocate!
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